Preface: I am nauseatingly happy with Shrimpy. Just ask Pete. He's sick of hearing about her. I have no intention of looking for someone new and/or complicating the simplicity of my relationship with Shrimpy.

That being said...

I read the Craigslist: W4W Personals almost religiously. Not for a date. No... I go for the drama. Gotta love lesbians. We'll start drama anytime, anyplace, anyhow. I was going to say "They'll start drama anytime, anyplace, anyhow," but that's because sometimes I keep forgetting that I'm one of them. Not the drama-inducing type, of course. But still...

I love the drama. I love it because it doesn't really exist in my life.

Anyhow, there's been this annoying trend of two people using the site to send love notes back and forth in Spanish. It's annoying. Pick up a phone. Write an e-mail. Don't use craigslist for your idiocy. It's. just. Annoying. So I thought I'd be snarky and put up my own:

"Liebste shrimpy... "Doktor Laura" ist auf dem Radio. Ich vermisse Ihr vertrautes Gesicht. Lassen Sie uns auf meiner smelly Couch zusammen sitzen. Gefrorene Pizza und "Kinderhüter 911" heute abend?"

Translation (roughly): "Dearest one shrimpy... 'Doctor Laura' is on the radio. I miss your familiar face. Let us on mine smelly couch together sit. Frozen pizza and 'Child Guardian 911' this evening?"

So today I started getting responses in German. One of which said "Was ist deine Sternzeichen?" Which basically means "What's your sign?"

Problems:

(1) I don't actually speak (much) German. I'm just an expert Babelfish user.

(2) If the people responding actually speak German, don't they realize that this is a love letter to Shrimpy and that I have no intention of looking for someone else?

(3) It was a joke! Doesn't anybody get this?!?! Child Guardian 911?! That's comedy gold!